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User blog:High Prince Imrahil/The Wiki Family - Imrahil's Dating Adventures!
Faenor coaches Imrahil on dating technique. This should be good... "Are you sure this is a good idea Faenor?" Imrahil looked at himself in the mirror. His normally fluffy hair was slicked back with an abundance of hair gel, and instead of his normal leather jacket, he was wearing a full suit. "Entirely, my dear brother. Christina is a very nice girl, and quite pretty I might add!" "Don't you remember the last time you tried to set me up with one of your friends?" "Come now, Imrahil, the past is in the past. I doubt the manager at the Red Lobster even remembers that explosion." "It made local news..." "Now, now, Imrahil, you must stop looking to the past! Look to the future! And Olive Garden doesn't even have anything you could accidently blow up!" "erkghp" retorted Imrahil. Faenor was unable to make out the reply, given that Imrahil had accidently tied his tie all the way around his head, and was currently choking himself to death. Faenor sighed. Only Imrahil. '--- an embarrassing amount of time later ---' "Good lord! I thought I was going to suffocate!" Faenor rolled his eyes as he finally managed to rip the tie free from Imrahil's head. "This is insane!" exclaimed Imrahil, "These tie things are dangerous! Why do people even wear them? What purpose do they possibly serve??" "Just shut up and wear the stupid tie!" "Right..." With Faenor's assistance, Imrahil managed to wrangle on the tie with a minimum of bodily harm. "Alright, now let's practice." said Faenor, walking to Imrahil's side and leading him towards the dining room. "I'll be Christina. Now what do you do first?" "Uh... ask if I can join your World of Warcraft server?" Faenor sighed. "Imrahil, this is going to hurt you more then it hurts me." Faenor swung around, and WAP! He hit Imrahil's face with a rolled up magazine. "Uh..." scrambled Imrahil, trying to find a correct answer, "ask if you like Legos?" WAP! "Ask who your favorite Star Wars character is?" WAP! "Uh... ask the specs on your gaming computer are?" WAP! "Ask who your favorite pony is?" WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! "Ow!" "Never mention pony in my presence again!" screamed Faenor in horror. "Fine, Faenor, what would'' YOU say on a date?!" Faenor put his head into his hands and sighed deeply. "I would probably say something that didn't make me look like a total nerd''. Something refined, something sophisticated. Something like 'how do you do?' or 'how do you fair?'" "Come on, Faenor, you know I suck with all that fancy talking... or, you know, talking in general." "Ah, but you underestimate my ''capabilities as a teacher! By the time I'm done with you, James Bond will be jealous at how suave and well spoken you are." ----------------- Imrahil sat at the dining room table across from Faenor, feeling less then prepared for this practice date. "So, what will you two have?" asked Chaz, playing waiter. He had more or less taken the job because he thought Imrahil sharing a practice romantic date with Faenor would be hilarious. "Uh, I'll have-" started Imrahil. He was stopped by a withering glare from Faenor. ''WAP! "ALWAYS let the lady order first." growled Faenor, "even if she takes forever or defers to you, you must ''be a gentleman and make sure she orders first." Imrahil sighed. "I'll have..." Faenor trailed off into an incomprehensible list of French lingo and names, which probably amounted to some kind of fancy food. Then Waiter Chaz turned to Imrahil. "And for you, sir?" "Uh... do you guys have fried chicken?" ''WAP! Imrahil soon became very familiar with rolled up magazines. --------- It took two days of rigorous training and fifteen issues of Better Home and Garden, but at last Imrahil went on his date with Christina. They had a delightful dinner, and Imrahil was always the gentleman, following Faenor's instructions to a T, acting just like his brother would. At the end of the evening, Imrahil's blue Camaro pulled up in front of her house, as he walked her to her door. "I had a very nice dinner." said Christina, "you were just as nice as Faenor said you would be." She was one of the most beautiful girls Imrahil had ever seen, with long black hair and a dark blue dress. "I... well, would you like to go out again sometime?" asked Imrahil politely. Cristina sighed, closing her bright blue eyes. Wow, those were beautiful eyes. "Imrahil, you're very nice, but I don't think you're the guy for me." she said. "I understand." replied Imrahil, "I mean, you're kind of a professional ballerina/fashion model, and you're a little out of my league..." "It's not that." she replied, "it's just... I had so much hope when Faenor said you were a computer programmer." "Pardon?" "You see, I'm not really a fan of gentlemanly polite types like you and Faenor. What I've really always wanted is a guy that would want to join my World of Warcraft server, and share my love of My Little Pony. I really liked you, Imrahil, but you're just not my type. Good night, Imrahil." With that, she disappeared through the door. ---------- On the other side of town, Faenor could've sworn he heard Imrahil scream. Category:Blog posts